"And in tonight's breaking news story a shocking tale out of Cyberworld. Famed spokesperson of yester-year Spamton G. Spamton finds himself arrested and facing life in prison after police raided his home and found a tied-up lightner minor in his basement. Let's hear from the live feed."
"It wasn't that kind of PipiS! I've been [$4.99 Picture frame limited time offer!] I swear!"